We believe in God.

That’s about it.

We can’t tell you factual stuff about God, just our opinions.

We have a lot of opinions.

For one thing, there is only One True God.

Then there is another One True God who was originally called the Word, but these days, he’s known as “Jesus Christ”. This name is also used as an expletive. We are very sure about that. Euphemisms count too. His Name is the only one under heaven by which we can be saved. That Name is used a lot. We’re not sure it’s always used appropriately, but all advertising is good advertising.

Jesus is the Good God. God the Father is the Greater God. Well, not like Alla Akbar is the greater god. He’s the ancient Arab moon god, Sin, one of 360 of the ancient pagan gods (one for each day of the year, because they hadn’t worked out the calendar all that well back then). He was invented by someone named Mohammed, a business man of his time, and he invented this “Allah” in order to combine all the warring tribes into one for the purposes of commerce. This is the last time this will be mentioned because it is irrelevant to my making more money.

God has his representatives on earth because He’s pretty much bored and done with humanity, although, if you beg and plead enough to Jesus, He might just take an interest in your cause. Or not. Or it could take some time. There are a awful lot of these kinds of requests and they are processed in the order they are received, which means that every prayer will be answered, but it could take 5 million years. Wait for it!

There are other gods. There all kinds of gods. There’s Satan who is the god of this world. People themselves have been referred to in Scripture as “gods” (and Scripture cannot be broken… in normal circumstances). A former Supreme Leader believed that we would all become God as God is God, but that’s a lot of gods, and besides, he died. He doesn’t seem to have been God. To add insult to injury, none of his prophecies seem to have come to pass either, even though people put a lot of stock in them. More accurately, they put a lot of money into them. I guess that’s not the same thing.

You can become God. Unless you are already a god, in which case, it’s kinda redundant, don’t you think?

One disadvantage to becoming God seems to be that we are supposed to be like the angels (who are also referred to as “gods”) who do not marry or are given in marriage. This means that we all lose out on sex. Except that those who make it into the Kingdom first are going to be the Bride of Christ. That could be kinda embarassing for some of the guys.

Be certain of Scripture when it says that God resists the proud. All you have to do to prove that is to look to the religious leaders who are proud.

If you ask me, it’s sure a strange kind of resistance!